If Forever Ends Tomorrow
by Ta1u1a
Summary: Sequel to Somewhere I Belong. While Willow's in England, Tara has to deal with a guilty conscience. COMPLETE
1. No Granted Being Taken

Author's Note: This is a sequel to my fic Somewhere I Belong. You'll want to read that or you won't know what's going on.

* * *

Buffy, Xander and Dawn walked with Willow to the gate for her flight. Xander handed Willow her carry-on bag.

"I stuffed some snacks in the front pocket of your bag there," Xander said. "Those little bags of peanuts just don't cut it."

"Thanks," Willow said with a smile. Buffy looked around and then cautiously spoke.

"Uh, so, Tara's not here," she said. "That's…weird."

"No, we said goodbye last night," Willow explained. "We both agreed that it would be easier for me to get on the plane if she wasn't here."

"Understandable," Buffy said. "Long goodbyes make it hard to say goodbye." She paused and looked confused. "Or something."

"Yeah, it was hard enough just thinking about going," Willow said. "But Giles said I probably would be spending a lot of time with the coven and I wouldn't have a whole lot of time to use the phone or e-mail or anything."

"Wow. That sucks," Dawn said. Buffy elbowed her. "What?"

"Just think how great it will be when you get back," Buffy said, encouraging Willow. "Being apart makes it a thousand times better when you're finally together."

"I know. It's just another part of the whole learning control thing, I guess," she replied. A voice over the intercom announced Willow's flight was now boarding. "Well, that's me."

Buffy stepped forward and gave her friend a tight hug. "Good luck, Will."

"Thanks." She moved over and hugged Dawn and then Xander.

"We'll miss ya," Xander said, giving Willow an extra squeeze for good measure. "Bring us back some souveniers."

"I'll try to remember," Willow said with a smile. She turned and walked toward the gate. She handed her ticket to the attendant and just as she was about to walk through the door, she turned, offered her friends a smile and one last wave. They waved back and Willow boarded the plane.

"This is going to be weird," Xander said. "I mean, Willow and I have known each other for like almost 20 years. She's always been here."

"I know, but it's only gonna be a few months," Buffy said. "Although I think we should try to involve Tara more with stuff we do, try to keep her mind off Willow. From the sound of things they won't be able to talk much while Will's in England."

"I don't think Tara's real big on patrol," Xander said. He led the way toward the parking garage.

"Yeah, she doesn't really thrive on the danger," Buffy said.

"We could rent some movies," Dawn said.

"Or go to the Bronze," Xander said. They all got into the car and Buffy shook her head.

"We don't have to do anything special, just you know, ask her if she wants to come along when we go somewhere or whatever," Buffy said. "She'll notice if we start having movie nights and stuff. We can't try too hard."

"So subtle invitations," Xander commented as he started the car. "Check."

Buffy sighed. "All I know is it's going to be a long few months for both of them."

* * *

"Have you ever been convicted of a crime?"

Tara looked at Anya, confused. "Uh, no. But you know that."

"Do you have any references?" Anya asked.

"Anya, you know me," Tara replied. "When I called, you said you would hire me."

"I know that, but there's a process to hiring employees," Anya said. She noticed the look on Tara's face and tried to explain. "I read it in a manual. It was about being a good boss. The first chapter was about hiring the right employees."

"Well?"

Anya stood with a smile and extended her hand. Tara reluctantly took it. "Welcome to the Magic Box team."

"Uh, it's just you and me," Tara said.

"Yes. We're a team," Anya said. She headed over to the cash register. "Why did you call me for a job anyway?"

"Well, I got a partial scholarship to school and have been living off a trust fund my mother had set up," Tara explained. "But the trust fund's running out. I'm low on cash."

"Well, I certainly could use the help," Anya said. "I'm always having to close the shop to go do vegeance for scorned women. It's cutting into my profits. Now, you can stay here if I have to leave."

"Oh, uh…" Tara was so used to being around Anya she had practically forgotten she was a vengeance demon again.

"It's great. I've been thinking about hiring somebody, and with somebody I know, it makes it that much better," Anya said excitedly. She smiled and walked across the store toward the basement door. "This is going to be great!"

Tara sighed and then laughed. She wasn't quite sure how great this would really be.

* * *

Willow arrived at Giles' house and he opened the door to greet her. She smiled and gave him a hug when she got to his door.

"Willow, how have you been?" he asked.

"Good," she said as he led her inside. "Well, there was that rough patch I had for a while there, but I'm good now."

"Yes, the rough patch. As you know, Tara's kept me up to date on your situation since you two got back together," he said. Willow nodded her head. "She truly loves you. It's been a while since I've met someone so determined to make a relationship work." He chuckled. "Well, not since Buffy and Angel. But I suppose that's not the best example."

Willow chuckled with him. "Not really." Then her expression changed. "But Tara and I…I can't imagine my life without her. I don't _want_ to imagine my life without her."

"Well, I suppose that's why you're here then, right?" Giles asked. Willow nodded her head. He looked at his watch. "Sarah and the others should be here shortly. I'm confident they'll be of help to you. They're very knowledgeable, and I think they'll truly be able to help you attain the control you seek."

"I hope so," Willow said. "I hate being afraid of my power. I hate being afraid that I might hurt somebody I care about. Or even somebody I don't care about."

"You've certainly learned from your mistakes," Giles said. "You being here proves that."

"It's just this whole thing with Amy that just happened rattled me. I got a little peek at what I could have been, and it was scary," Willow said. "I mean, literally. Pale and veiny. I'm not the most superficial person, but I was not winning any beauty contests with that look."

Giles smiled and attempted to reassure her. "Well, that's not who you're going to be. You and Tara both have a second chance here."

"Oh, we're definitely not taking it for granted," Willow said. "No granted being taken."

A knock at the door interrupted their conversation. Giles opened it and five women stepped in. He turned and introduced them.

"Willow, this is Sarah, Marguerite, Natasha, Anastasia and Melinda," he said, pointing toward each woman as he said their name. "Ladies, this is Willow Rosenberg."

"Hi," Willow said shyly. Just being in their presence she could feel their power. She could tell Sarah was the most powerful and most likely the head of their coven. She was the first to speak.

"Welcome, Willow," she said. She took Willow's hand and squeezed it gently. "Rupert has told us a lot about you. You have quite a journey ahead of you."

"About that," she said nervously. "I'm a little fuzzy on the details. What exactly does this journey involve?"

"There will be rituals and training to help you gain focus and balance," Natasha explained. "There will be a lot of meditation exercises."

"Giles said something about a spiritual journey, like a vision quest or something," Willow said, waiting for an explanation.

"Yes, that will be the final step in becoming attuned with the world around you," Anastasia replied. "Magic is in everything. Once you are attuned with the world, you will have the control you are looking for."

"Cool," Willow said, hesitation in her tone. "So, when do we start?"

"Tomorrow morning," Marguerite said. "We just wanted to meet you tonight. You've had a long flight and should get some rest before we begin."

The coven turned back toward the door, having finished their brief introductory visit. Sarah turned back before they all left.

"Good evening, Rupert," she said. Then she looked to Willow. "Sleep well, Willow. Blessed be."

Willow smiled and offered a little wave. "Blessed be."


	2. Losing Comfort

Anya had just finished showing Tara how to special order an item and have it shipped to a customer's home. Tara had never considered retail as a possibility for her, especially considering how shy she used to be. But as Anya trained her on various tasks, she realized it wasn't as bad as she had thought it would be. Of course, the real test would come when she had to deal with a customer.

The bell above the shop door jingled and the two of them looked up. A young woman that Tara vaguely recognized from campus walked in and moved toward the shelves to inspect various potion ingredients.

"Ooh, now's a good time to see how you are with the customers," Anya said excitedly. She had been beaming the entire time that she trained Tara. Her excitement had come as a surprise to the young witch. It had been a while since she had seen Anya this happy. "Go sell her something."

Anya gave Tara an encouraging shove and she headed up the stairs toward the customer. The woman was inspecting a package with some sort of roots in it.

"Can I help you with anything?" she asked, forcing confidence. The woman looked over and held up the package.

"How fresh is this tarcanis root?" she asked. Tara took the package and looked it over, trying to find some kind of date on it. When she found nothing, she opened it and sniffed the contents, recoiling at the foul odor. It smelled like rotten eggs. Or possibly rotten flesh. She wasn't quite sure. The woman saw the look on her face and appeared disappointed. "The potion I'm doing requires _fresh_ tarcanis root."

"Oh, no, a-actually tarcanis root smells worst when it's really fresh," Tara explained, putting her knowledge to good use. She smiled a little. "If it doesn't smell like a dead animal, then it's useless."

"Really?" the woman asked, both surprised and skeptical. She was new to witchcraft, Tara deduced. Time to ask some questions.

"What's the potion for?"

"It's for a memory spell," the woman said.

Tara flinched slightly, remembering the spell Willow had cast seven months ago to make her forget a fight. "What kind of memory spell?"

"It's for a friend," the woman explained. "She's freaking out about this big test she has to take. I thought I'd help her. It's like mystical gingko. I also need some powdered toadstool and mugwort."

"Uh, powdered toadstool is right…" Tara said as she looked across the shelves. One good thing about her being Anya's new employee was that she already knew where almost everything in the shop was located. She snatched a small jar off the shelf. "…here. And mugwort is behind the counter. I can ring this out for you. Is there anything else you need?"

She caught Anya waving at her from the corner of her eye and saw her mouthing some words to her. She stared at Anya, confused, until she caught the word 'sale' as Anya pointed to a sign by the register. Tara led the girl over to the counter and knew there was no subtle way to drop it in.

"We're having a sale on chicken's feet. Buy one pair, get two free."

She moved behind the register and grabbed some mugwort from the counter behind her before turning to ring up the woman's purchases.

"No chicken's feet, thanks," the woman said with a smirk. Anya was signaling Tara again. She made a motion for Tara to keep trying to push the chicken's feet. Then she leaned down and wrapped her hands around her ankle. Then she ran her right hand down her ankle repeatedly.

"Are you sure?" Tara asked, her brow furrowed while trying to figure out what Anya was doing. "They make great…ankle bracelets?"

"What?" the woman asked, confused. Anya threw up her hands in frustration.

"Uh, nothing. I'm kidding," Tara said as she finished ringing up the items. "Your total comes to $21.85."

Quickly she bagged the items, took the money and stuffed the receipt in the bag.

"Thank you for shopping The Magic Box," she said with a smile as the woman took her bag and left. Anya walked over to the counter.

"Ankle bracelets?" she asked, having no idea where Tara could get that out of what she was miming.

"I have no idea what you were trying to tell me," Tara replied.

"Stocking stuffers!" Anya said. "There are only 127 shopping days left till Christmas."

"Oh," Tara said, trying to hide a smile. "So other than the fact that I suck at charades, how did I do?"

"Very nicely done. The sniffing of the tarcanis root was very effective…and very brave," Anya said. "Get your nose too close to fresh tarcanis root and you could lose your sense of smell for a week."

"Good to know," Tara said, having not known that little fact. Then she noticed Anya get a concerned look on her face.

"I have to go," she said abruptly. "There's a girl in Peru who needs vengeance done on her scumbag ex-boyfriend. You can take care of the shop until I get back? And possibly close up? The keys are under the register. Just lock the register and all the doors, and I'll take care of it in the morning."

"Already? It's my first day," Tara said nervously.

"You'll do fine," Anya said. "Tuesdays are always slow."

"Okay," she replied. Before Anya could leave she motioned for her to wait. "Anya, one thing though."

"Yes?"

"When you have to leave to do vengeance demon stuff, I think it would be best not to tell me you're leaving to do vengeance demon stuff."

"What should I tell you?" Anya asked, confused.

"Uh, anything," Tara said. "Or nothing. Just don't tell me you're doing vengeance."

"Okay then," Anya said. She smiled. "Have fun."

Then she teleported out. Tara leaned on the counter and looked around the empty shop. She decided that this wouldn't be so bad. She had always felt comfortable in the Magic Box. It was one of two places where she did feel most comfortable. The other place wasn't an actual location. It moved around. Currently it was in England.

* * *

She walked casually through the woods, a wry smile on her face. She was following him and she wasn't going to lose him. He was running as fast as he could, but she wouldn't lose him. Finally she caught him and bound him with vines and branches. Her blue eyes were now pools of darkness as she stared him down and magically opened his shirt. He begged for mercy. He begged for his life. He said he would do anything, but she didn't want him to do anything except die. Eventually she became bored with him.

"Somebody help me!" he screamed. He knew nobody was there, but it was all he could do. Soon he couldn't do anything as she held up her hand and ripped his skin off with only a gesture. Tara turned away from him, the action not phasing her in the least. When she turned she stopped short. There were men walking toward her, men of different races, ages, sizes. There were more than she could possibly count.

"Who the hell are you?" she asked. A young, Hispanic man stepped forward. He appeared to be about Tara's age. She waited impatiently for him to answer.

"My name is Warren Hernandez," he said as he stopped a few feet in front of her. "I ceased to exist. And I continue to not exist as long as you do exist."

Tara's eyes and hair changed from the black they had become back to their natural state and she stared fearfully at the men.

"We all continue to not exist as long as you do," he said. "What makes you better than us?"

"Tara."

She turned and cried out in shock as Warren Mears' skinless face stared back at her. She was terrified and sickened at the same time.

"You killed me," he said. "You killed us all."

She shook her head and took off running. The men chased after her, repeatedly saying her name.

"Tara. Tara."

She tripped and fell forward, tumbling down a hill. She came to a stop with her back against a tree. The men, led by Warren Hernandez and the skinless Warren Mears, approached her and glared down at her.

"No. Please, no," she pleaded. Warren Mears reached forward and grabbed her by the shirt, pulling her up and standing her against the tree.

"Tara. Tara!"

"No!" she screamed. She jerked awake in bed and tears spilled uncontrollably down her cheeks. Buffy had been calling her name, trying to wake her up. Tara scooted up and sat back against the headboard, wiping at her tears. She saw Dawn standing in the doorway. Both of them were extremely concerned and confused.

"Tara, you were shouting in your sleep," Buffy said. She noticed how upset Tara was. "You're shaking. What were you dreaming about?"

"I killed them. I killed them all," she said, sobbing. Dawn walked further into the room and sat on the end of the bed.

"Killed who?" she asked. Tara shook her head and tried to control her sobbing. Buffy gripped Tara's hand reassuringly.

"What are you talking about? You haven't killed anybody," Buffy said. She and Dawn had no idea.

"Warren," she said. "All the Warrens. I killed them all."

She crumbled into tears and Buffy didn't know what else to do. She wrapped her arms around Tara, trying to comfort her. She'd had a feeling this would happen. Tara was feeling guilty about not reversing the spell that Amy cast. Buffy couldn't say she would've made a different decision than the one Tara had made. How could you choose to change the world back to one where you were dead?

* * *

Once they had calmed Tara down, the three of them sat in the kitchen. Buffy handed Tara a cup of tea, and she stared down into it.

"Can you describe this dream?" Buffy asked.

"Uh, w-well…" Tara hesitated. "It started with the stuff I saw during that spell. It was when Willow killed Warren in the other reality. Except, instead of Willow it was me. I-I tortured him and I s-s-skinned him alive."

"But you didn't," Dawn said. Tara shook her head.

"It doesn't matter," Tara said. "He wasn't the only one affected by my decision. All the Warrens that ceased to exist came to me and they said I killed them. It's true."

Dawn looked alarmed and Buffy knew where this was going.

"You're changing your mind," she said solemnly. Tara looked up at Buffy, sorrow evident in her eyes. "You want to reverse the spell."

"I thought I could live with it. I thought that it w-w-would be okay," she said quietly. "But I can't…all those innocent people…"

"But-but how can we change it? We can't," Dawn said frantically. She didn't want Tara to change her mind. She didn't want the world to change back. "Willow bound Amy's powers, and-and Amy probably left town. She's probably in South America by now."

"I'll find something," Tara said. She smirked. "I have my employee discount at the Magic Box."

Buffy's lips curled slightly in a sad smile, and Dawn looked down at the counter. Tara rested her hand on Dawn's wrist.

"Dawnie, I don't want things to change. Believe me. I don't," Tara said. "I wish there was another way around it. What Amy did was wrong, but leaving it this way is just as wrong. It's selfish, and it's not what magic is for."

"Then what is magic for? You can't bring mom back. You're going to change the world back to one where you're dead," Dawn said sharply. "What good is magic anyway if I'm going to keep losing the people I care about?"

Dawn suddenly stood and hurried out of the kitchen.

"Dawn!" Buffy called and started to follow. Tara shook her head.

"Let her go," she said. Buffy turned back and leaned on the kitchen island. "She's upset. It's hard to deal with news like this."

"I know," Buffy said. She looked to Tara seriously. "Can you change it back?"

"I don't know," Tara said. "I'll see if I can track down Amy, but I might have to do it on my own…if it's even possible."

"What if it's not? Are you going to be okay?"

"I don't know."


	3. Honesty's the Best Policy

The door opened and Amy rolled her eyes when she saw them standing there.

"You guys told me to leave town," she said. "I can't believe you're actually making sure I'm gone." She pointed to Tara. "And you must have a death wish coming around me."

Tara glanced at Buffy. "Actually, I sorta do."

"What?" Amy asked.

"Congratulations, Amy. You get what you wanted," Buffy said. "We're here for info on the spell you cast."

"You want to reverse it," Amy said, a satisfied smirk spreading across her face. She glared at Tara. "Little goody you couldn't live with the non-existence of all the Warrens, huh?"

"Are you going to tell us about the spell or-or not?" Tara said as forcefully as she could muster. Amy's smile simply widened.

"Oh, that was almost intimidating there," she said. But her smile disappeared when Buffy grabbed her by the arms and pushed her up against the wall.

"How's this for intimidation?" Buffy asked. Tara walked in the house behind them. "You're going to tell us about the spell in vivid, play-by-play, technicolor detail."

"Or what?" Amy asked with a chuckle. "You already took my powers. What the hell else can you do to me? You won't kill me, Buffy. You're a goody goody, too."

"I won't kill you, but I can have some fun kicking the crap out of you," Buffy replied with a grin. "I'm not too goody goody for that."

Amy's gaze hardened and her smile disappeared. Buffy dragged her into the living room and shoved her onto the sofa.

"I need to know everything. Wording, rituals, potions. Everything," Tara said, pulling a notebook out of her bag. Amy didn't say a word and Tara sighed. "You're getting what you want. If you tell me about the spell, I die."

"Fine then," Amy said, not taking her eyes off Tara. She smiled. "So, how's it feel knowing you're not going to live to see your next birthday?" Tara didn't respond. "Are you gonna tell Willow? I noticed she's not here."

Buffy noticed the look on Tara's face and turned to Amy angrily. "Okay, we're here about the spell. That's enough commentary."

Amy ignored her. "So, this is the woman she loves so much? You push her down and get her to give up magic. Now you're going to change the world without telling her. Bravo."

"Shut up," Tara said quietly, looking down at the floor.

"Snappy comeback," Amy said with a chuckle. "You didn't answer my question."

"Hey," Buffy said sharply. "We asked you a question first. Answers. Now."

Amy glared at Buffy and looked back to Tara. "A relationship without honesty isn't much of a relationship."

Tara couldn't bring herself to look at Amy. She didn't want to tell Willow. It was a hard enough conversation to have in person, let alone over the phone. Amy smiled, happy with her progress. She had got under Tara's skin. It wasn't exactly magic, but it would do.

* * *

Buffy and Tara returned to the house. Dawn was in the living room watching television. She made eye contact with Tara and bolted for the stairs.

"Dawn!" Tara called after her. She sighed and looked down at the floor sadly.

"That's the Summers stubborn streak," Buffy said. She nudged Tara on the arm and they sat on the sofa in the living room. "We're really good at the cold shoulder."

Tara nodded her head and looked over her notes. "I-I've got a lot of work to do. I should probably get started."

"Are you going to need any help?"

"No," Tara replied sharply, shaking her head. She looked up and saw the surprised look on Buffy's face. "I-I mean…this-this is my thing. I should do it on my own. I don't want you to feel responsible f-for—"

"Too late," Buffy said quietly, knowing the end of that sentence. Whether it was Warren or a spell, Buffy felt responsible for Tara's fate. She stood. "Well, I'll let you get to it then." She was at the bottom of the stairs when she turned back. "Tara?"

"Yeah?"

"The stuff Amy said about honesty and telling Willow…" she began. "She was right. Crazy as she is, she was right. Sometimes the crazy people make the most sense."

"You think I should tell her," Tara said. Buffy nodded her head. "But over the phone? I mean, she's all the way in England now. God, she-she'll think I sent her away so I could do this behind her back."

"No, she won't," Buffy reassured her. "Willow knows you. I saw how surprised she was when you said not to reverse the spell. We all were surprised. Out of all of us you're the most decent one. The fact that you could actually be selfish, even for a second, surprised us. Willow knew you couldn't live with the fact that all those Warrens permanently went poof. She'll understand." She smiled sheepishly. "She'll hate it, but she'll understand."

"Honesty is the best policy," Tara said quietly.

"That's the thing about clichés," Buffy said. "They become clichés because they're usually accurate. I'm not good with time zones, but I think it's about ten at night in England right now. She'll probably be done with her training stuff for the day."

Tara nodded her head and watched Buffy go upstairs before she picked up the phone. She hesitantly dialed the numbers, almost striking the wrong buttons with her trembling fingers. Finally she placed it up to her ear and listened for the ring, dreading the conversation she was about to have.

* * *

Buffy's calculation of the time in England was short a few hours, but it didn't matter. Giles had become accustomed to late nights from living in Sunnydale, and he had yet to break himself of the habit of staying up later than most normal people would. He looked up from his book when the phone rang and shot a glance at the clock. None of his friends or acquaintances in England would call him this late. So without caller ID, he was still able to deduce that this phone call was coming from Sunnydale.

"Hello," he answered.

"Hi, M-Mr. Giles. It's Tara."

He smiled at her greeting. He had found from experience during his early days with Buffy that stuttering could be annoying to some people. But when it came from Tara he had noticed it was endearing to everyone. He also always had enjoyed the fact that she was the only one of the Scoobies that planted a Mister in front of his last name. She had never just called him Giles like the rest of them—at least, not to his face.

"Tara. Still not quite sure of the time difference, are you?" he asked in a joking manner. His smile broadened when she spoke, having taken his question seriously.

"Oh, I'm sorry. What time is it there? D-did I wake you up?" she asked apologetically. He noticed that she sounded nervous, and it wasn't just because of her mistaken late phone call.

"No, I was awake," he assured her. "Being the watcher of an active slayer has turned me into a night owl, I've discovered. It's one in the morning, but Willow actually just got in about an hour ago. She may still be awake."

"Oh, I should call back," she said, the apprehensive tone in her voice becoming even more apparent. "I should call back tomorrow or tonight or later…or whatever."

Giles looked over when he heard a door open. Willow was standing in the doorway of the bedroom Giles had set up for her. She had obviously surmised that this late phone call was coming from the other side of the ocean as well.

"Nonsense, Tara. She's right here. Just a moment."

When he handed over the phone he motioned that he was going outside. He had a feeling Tara had something serious to discuss with Willow and that privacy would be in order. Willow nodded her head and put the phone to her ear, hesitant to find out why Giles felt she needed a special privacy gesture.

"Hey sweetie," she said, trying to remain cheerful. "What's up?"

"I-I just needed to talk to you," Tara began. She hadn't thought this out. She didn't know what she was going to say. She hadn't planned it at all. She was certain she would do it wrong. Of course there wasn't a right way to tell the woman you love that you're going to die. "I had a nightmare last night. It was about the other reality."

"Oh," Willow said with a bit of relief, thinking that was the main thing Tara wanted to talk about. She could handle nightmares. Comforting was her specialty. "What happened?"

"In the nightmare, I was you. Well, I was the other you. The scary you," Tara explained. "And I killed Warren, the Warren that killed me. Then when I turned around, all the other Warrens were there. They-they all told me that I killed them."

"But you didn't," Willow said. She knew that the guilt would come. She knew it and she almost hated that she had decided to go to England when Tara was going through this guilt. She wanted to be there in Sunnydale with Tara to comfort her, not all the way in another country. "You didn't kill anyone, Tara. It's not your fault."

"It is," Tara said. It was time to do it and get it over with. So she ripped off the band-aid. "I'm reversing Amy's spell."

"What?" Willow asked. She had heard the sentence, but it took a while to register. Buffy had been right about one thing. When Tara had decided originally not to reverse the spell, Willow had been shocked. But she had also been extremely relieved. The thought of losing her soul mate made her heart want to explode right out of her chest.

"I can't put my life ahead of the lives of all those Warrens," Tara said. "I-I can't live with this. No matter how much I want to live and to be with you, I can't live like this."

"But…but…" Willow couldn't speak. Her eyes were welling with tears and her throat felt like it was closing up completely. "How are you going to…?"

"Buffy and I got Amy to tell us about the spell," Tara said quietly. Her voice wavered. She could tell how upset Willow was. They were thousands of miles apart only connected by phone lines, but she could still tell. "I'm going to work the reversal off of what she told us."

Willow said nothing. Tears streamed down her face. She didn't know what to say. Tara could hear her ragged breathing and she couldn't stop her own tears from falling.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I'm sorry that I couldn't figure this out before you left. I'm so sorry."

"How can I…" Willow paused, trying to find her voice well enough to speak. "How can I go on when I know I didn't have to lose you?"

"You'll go on," Tara said, only managing a whisper. She closed her eyes. "You won't remember any of this."

"Why are you telling me? If I won't remember, why are you even telling me?" Willow asked, a twinge of anger in her voice.

"Because…I promised myself after that last spell," Tara explained. "I promised myself that I would always be honest with you, forever. Even if forever ends tomorrow."

Willow was feeling so many emotions at once—anger, fear, desperation, sorrow. She couldn't separate any of them, and her heart felt like it was tearing in half. In effect, it was. She was about to lose the other half of her soul, and there was nothing she could do to stop it. Of course, that wasn't entirely correct. She could fall back on bad habits. The part of her that had been addicted to magic started thinking up spells to keep Tara from changing things.

_I can live with Tara never trusting me again, as long as she's alive,_ part of her thought. _I don't care if she finds out._

But she shook that thought away. She couldn't do that. She and Tara had had long discussions about that, some of the earlier discussions turning into arguments. She couldn't lose herself to magic again, no matter what the reason.

Tara sat at the other end of the phone line listening to Willow cry. She wished she knew what Willow was thinking. She wished they were in the same room, instead of miles apart. She didn't want to spend the last days of her life without Willow by her side.

"Baby, please don't do this," Willow finally said, desperation saturating her voice. "How can I live without you?"

"You'll live," Tara said softly. "When I saw things that happened in the other reality, I saw things that happened after I…but you were okay."

"So I just moved on? I forgot about you?" she asked angrily.

"No, of course not," Tara replied. "You continued on. Your world didn't end. You kept a place for me in your heart."

"This can't be happening," Willow said tearfully. They sat in silence for a while and Tara couldn't take it anymore. She knew any moment she would break down completely and she wouldn't be able to do what she had to do.

"I have to go," she said softly. "I love you so much."

"Tara," Willow sobbed. She swallowed hard to force out the words past her sorrow. "I love you. Always."

"Goodbye," Tara said. She quickly hung up the phone and dropped her head into her hands, unable to stop the tears.

In England, Giles came back inside to find Willow sobbing on the floor in the doorway of the guest bedroom. He knelt beside her and took her in his arms. He wasn't stupid. He knew what Amy had done and what Tara's decision had been. He knew the young witch well enough to know she wouldn't stick by that decision. He felt deep compassion for both of them. He also felt proud. Working in the Sunnydale High School library, he had run into plenty of young men and women who sickened him with their self-centered nature. But Buffy and her group of friends had never ceased to amaze him with their bravery. They all faced hardship, but in the end they knew what was right. Willow and Tara were two of the bravest people he had ever known, and that made him proud.


	4. Not Quite the Afterlife

Tara gathered everything she needed and began lighting the candles. They had all gathered in the Magic Box when she had told the others she had found a way to reverse things to the way they were.

"Is there anything we can do?" Buffy asked.

"No, thank you," Tara said. "I've got everything I need. I just…I say the spell and it goes back."

"Will we remember?" Xander asked, concerned more about what would happen to Willow if they remembered all of this. Tara shook her head.

"Alternate realities work that way," Anya said solemnly.

"Everything will revert to the way it would've been in the other reality at this point in time," Tara said. She lit the last candle and then lit some incense in a bowl. She glanced at her notebook and then turned. "So that's everything."

The others were silent. Suddenly Anya stepped forward and gave Tara a tight hug. "You were the best employee I ever had."

Tara laughed and returned the hug. She smiled at Anya when they separated. "Thanks. I liked working for you. For a whole day."

Anya stepped back and Tara looked to Buffy and Dawn. Buffy looked guilty. "I'm sorry, Tara. I almost wish that we had never met. If we hadn't, Warren never would've…"

"I don't regret meeting you. I always knew what came with knowing you guys," Tara said. She stepped forward and gave Buffy a hug. "It's not your fault."

She turned away from Buffy and saw Dawn sulking against the bookshelves, her arms crossed over her chest and tears welling in her eyes. Tara's heart broke. The Scoobies had become Tara's family. When she had let Glory feed off her mind rather than reveal Dawn as the key, it wasn't just because of what would happen to the world if Glory found Dawn. She did it because she loved Dawn as if she was her own little sister. She didn't want to leave any of them.

"Dawnie," she said, stepping forward. Dawn didn't move. "I'm sorry, sweetie. Please…"

Dawn closed her eyes and gave in. She stepped forward and Tara wrapped her arms around her as she sobbed. "Don't go," Dawn said tearfully.

"I have to," Tara whispered. "I'll always be with you in your heart. Never forget that."

Dawn finally released her hold of Tara and stepped back. Buffy wrapped her arms around her little sister, who leaned against her heavily. Tara moved to her circle of candles and took a deep breath before she began reciting the spell.

Her voice trembled with emotion as she spoke. A wind blew within the magic shop and the others watched sadly as bright glowing orbs began swirling around Tara. When she had finished reciting the spell once, she closed her eyes and repeated it twice before she felt an electric energy surging through her. She couldn't speak any longer as the force overcame her. Suddenly there was a bright flash and she was thrown backwards.

She expected oblivion to follow, but instead she simply felt cold. Tara realized her eyes were closed and she finally opened them. She assumed she was still in the Magic Box. It was dark, and the area around her looked nothing like the Magic Box she knew. The place was a disaster area. It appeared that a serious battle had taken place there. The upper level where Giles had kept his private collection of books not suitable for general customers was broken, hanging above her precariously. She quickly pushed herself up off the floor to get out of harm's way in case that fell. When she stood it gave her the opportunity to survey the rest of the shop. There was broken glass, broken shelves, broken everything.

"Hello?" she called, pretty sure that nobody else was in the shop. She didn't understand what had happened. The reversal spell shouldn't have left her alive. Then another thought occurred to her.

"What if I'm not alive?" she asked the empty shop.

Was this her afterlife? It seemed unlikely, but she had guessed that once the spell was complete she would end up in her own afterlife. However, she had also guessed that, like everyone else, she would not be aware that reality had changed at all. She remembered everything. Amy, the Warrens, everything.

Finally Tara decided the best place to look for answers was at Buffy's house. She hoped she wouldn't find it in the same state of disarray as the Magic Box.

* * *

"Hurry it up, Dawn," Buffy said as they walked toward the porch of their home on Revello Drive. "We need to get a bandage on your neck and then you need to get to bed. Tomorrow's the big day."

"Yeah, yeah," Dawn replied. "You keep reminding me. Big day. First day at the new high school."

"I still can't believe they built it in the same place as the old one," Buffy said as she fished her keys out of her pocket. "You think they'd learn that hellmouths are not productive educational environments."

"Well, you did learn a bunch of stuff about evil there when you were in high school," Dawn said as she led Buffy up the porch steps. She suddenly stopped in her tracks and Buffy bumped into her, nearly knocking both of them over.

"Dawn, what are you…?"

She couldn't finish her question when she followed her sister's gaze to the end of the porch. Instinctively, she stepped between Dawn and Tara. Aside from herself, people didn't generally turn out to be good when they rose from the dead. So the Tara she was looking at could be anything from a zombie to a vampire to a demon spirit. She wasn't taking any chances.

"I couldn't find the hide-a-key," Tara said, not sure what else to say. "I guess you guys moved it."

The Summers girls said nothing. They didn't know what to say. Confusion was etched over both their faces. She could tell they both wanted to be happy that she was there, but they had to be cautious. She understood that.

"I'm not a vampire, I'm not a zombie and I'm pretty sure I'm not a ghost," she explained, trying to convey that she was almost as confused as they were. "As far as I can tell, I'm not evil, and I don't think I'm supposed to be here."

"How are you here?" Buffy asked, finally finding her voice. Dawn was still staring in confusion.

"It's a really long story," Tara said. "I think we should go inside."

"Okay," Buffy said. She turned and nudged Dawn toward the door. She unlocked it, the two of them stepped in and Buffy consciously made sure she did not vocally invite Tara in. This was test one. Tara passed with flying colors as she crossed the threshold uninvited.

"I passed," Tara said, knowing exactly what had been going through Buffy's mind.

"Sorry," Buffy apologized, hating that she couldn't trust someone she had known as a friend.

"I understand," Tara replied. "I'd do the same."

"You don't look like a rotting corpse which is usually the case with zombies," Buffy said. "So that's test two passed."

Dawn stepped toward Tara.

"Dawn, say something," Tara said. The youngest Summers was strangely silent through all of this. Tara was used to Dawnie the Chatterbox. Instead the young girl reached forward with her right hand and rested it on Tara's left shoulder.

"You're real," she said, her voice trembling slightly.

"I am."

Dawn looked Tara in the eyes a moment, the confusion replaced with an emotion Tara couldn't find the words for. It was a combination of several emotions—joy, surprise, sadness. Dawn suddenly stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Tara. Slowly, the witch returned the embrace. Buffy gave her a relieved smile.

"That's the ghost test," the slayer said. She realized that tears had sprung in her own eyes and she wiped them away. She stepped forward and joined the hug between Tara and Dawn. All of this was bittersweet to Tara because she knew she didn't belong here. Something had gone wrong with the spell and she wasn't sure how to fix it.

When they finally separated they moved to the living room. Dawn sat next to Tara on the sofa and Buffy sat on the coffee table across from them.

"I thought…I thought that magic couldn't bring you back because a human killed you," Dawn said. "Osiris told Willow it was natural order."

"How are you here?" Buffy asked. "I mean, we buried you." An alarmed expression spread across her face. "You didn't have to…your grave…"

"No, I didn't dig out of my grave," Tara said. She held up her hands to show they were not injured from clawing out of a coffin as she remembered Buffy's had been. "Although I should be in my coffin. Something went wrong."

"You said it was a long story," Buffy said. "I think you should start at the beginning."

Tara told her story, starting with the headaches and how she had seen this reality through a spell. She explained how Amy erased all Warrens from existence, allowing Tara to remain alive. She tried to gauge the girls' reactions. She could see the hurt already surfacing on Dawn's face because she was realizing that Tara had tried to change the world back to one where she was dead. Buffy was merely taking it all in, trying to think of answers to the questions they all had.

"I woke up in the Magic Box when I thought I'd be waking up in the afterlife, whatever that might be for me," Tara said. "I don't know how I'm here. I need to find out. Me being here in this reality is probably even more wrong than me being in the other reality. I don't even have my notes from the spell. I'm going to have to go off of my memory on that."

"Xander, take her upstairs."

The three of them looked over to the foyer when they heard Buffy's voice. They didn't see anything.

"I still don't get what happened," they heard Xander say.

"Hopefully Anya will find something," Buffy's voice said. Dawn and Tara looked at Buffy and were certain she wasn't speaking the words.

"Did she put herself in a coma? I thought everything was supposed to change," Dawn's voice said. The end of her sentence faded. They heard Xander's voice start to speak again, but they couldn't make out the words as the entire conversation faded away.

"What was that?" Buffy asked. The three of them shared the same confused look.

"They were talking about a spell," Dawn said. She looked at Tara. "They were talking about your spell."

"I think that was the other reality, but I don't know how that's possible," Tara said.

"They were going upstairs," Buffy said. She stood and the other two followed her. "Maybe we can hear more if we follow them."

The three of them went up the stairs and Buffy led them to the bedroom she now occupied that had previously been shared by Willow and Tara. If Tara was still alive in the other reality, Buffy assumed that they would still be in that room. She flipped on the light and they looked around. Suddenly there was a flash of an image. They briefly made out the shapes of people. They saw their almost completely transparent bodies. Xander was gently laying Tara down on the bed. She appeared unconscious. Buffy was standing at the end of the bed while Dawn was standing near Xander. They faded away as quickly as they appeared. There were no voices.

Buffy was both confused and agitated when she asked, "Okay, what the frilly heck was that?"


	5. Out of Phase

Buffy, Dawn, Xander and Anya were all temporarily blinded by the bright flash of light that came at the end of Tara's spell. Like Tara, they had expected everything to change once the light went away. But when they regained their sight, they all realized nothing had changed. The only change was that Tara was lying unconscious amongst the shattered remains of the door that she had been thrown through. Buffy led the group over to her. They stared for a moment, fearfully.

"Is she dead?" Anya asked, always the blunt one. Xander took the initiative and knelt next to Tara, checking her neck for a pulse. He shook his head.

"She's alive," he said. "Looks like she's just unconscious."

They were all taken aback when everything around them flashed for a moment. The entire shop darkened briefly and they saw a destroyed version of the Magic Box they knew. In an instant the flash was gone.

"Hello?" they heard Tara's voice call. They looked down at her, but she wasn't moving.

"What was that?" Dawn asked, frightened and confused.

"What if I'm not alive?"

They all heard Tara's voice ask that question, but they saw that she was completely unconscious still.

"Did you all hear that with your ears or with your minds like when Willow does that telepathy thing?" Xander asked.

"I heard that with my ears," Buffy said. "That was definitely Tara, but there's no way she could've said that."

"Something backfired with her spell," Dawn said. "That has to be what's going on, right?"

"Okay," Buffy said. She ran her hand through her hair, not sure where to begin. "We need to get Tara back to the house. Hopefully she'll wake up soon and everything will be normal. Anya, can you look over Tara's notes in the meantime to see if there's something off about the spell?"

"Of course," Anya said sincerely. She was deeply concerned about her friend and recently acquired employee. She hoped she could find something amidst Tara's notes to solve this problem. As she moved over to the table, Xander picked up Tara and carried her unconscious body out of the shop with Buffy and Dawn close behind.

Once they got inside the Summers' home, Buffy pointed at the stairs. "Xander, take her upstairs."

"I still don't get what happened," Xander said as he climbed the stairs.

"Hopefully Anya will find something," Buffy's said.

"Did she put herself in a coma? I thought everything was supposed to change," Dawn commented as they all made their way to Willow and Tara's bedroom. "Why is she still unconscious?"

"Well, she was thrown through a door, Dawnster," Xander said as he laid Tara gently on the bed. He shook his head. "We should've taken her to the hospital."

"And how would we get her out of there if this isn't just about a head injury?" Buffy asked. "My gut's telling me this has to do with the spell. The sooner we figure out what went wrong with the spell, the sooner we get Tara back."

"And if we get Tara back is she going to try to change reality again?" Dawn asked bitterly. "We'll get her back just to lose her."

"Dawn, either way we've lost her," Buffy said. "We've got comatose Tara or dead Tara in the other reality. It's kind of a lose-lose situation. Right now we just need to figure this out."

"Where do we start?" Xander asked. Buffy was about to answer when she heard the phone ring. She picked up the phone on the bedside table and answered it, only to be greeted by a dial tone. She stared at the receiver, confused.

"It only rang once," Dawn said. "Why would they hang up?"

* * *

Buffy answered the phone, wondering if it would be an illusion like the voices and the people they had seen. Tara and Dawn waited for a confirmation on that suspicion.

"Giles, you have great timing. Something weird is…" She paused and looked over at Tara, an expression of surprise in her eyes. "How did you know Tara was here?"

"Willow," Giles said. He sat at the desk in his den in England and removed his glasses. He looked over at the young witch he had come to love like a daughter. She was pacing nervously across the room, glancing over at him every few seconds to try and gauge Buffy's end of the conversation by his facial expression. "She could feel Tara's presence. It was very sudden. She's rather…upset."

"She says she's from an alternate reality where she was never killed," Buffy explained. "Amy erased all the Warrens from existence so Tara was never shot."

"And you're certain this is the truth?" Giles asked, concerned that this Tara was evil.

"I'm certain she's not evil. I trust her," Buffy said. "Something else is happening, Giles. We—Dawn, Tara and I—are seeing stuff and hearing stuff. We're hearing our voices and seeing images of ourselves. They fade in and out. I think they might be from the reality she came from except that we saw her. How can she be in two realities at once?"

"That is curious," Giles said. He replaced his glasses and stood, moving over to his bookshelves. He removed a book and opened it. "What have they said?"

"They were talking about the spell she cast," Buffy explained.

"Giles, what's going on?" Willow asked impatiently. "Is she there? Is Tara there?" Giles nodded his head and Willow stepped forward. "I need to talk to her."

"Willow, I don't think that's—"

"Giles, please."

"She's not your Tara," Giles explained, his voice harsh. "She's from another reality. She cast a spell and ended up here. Right now we need to figure out why that happened and possibly how to reverse it."

Willow looked like she had been punched in the gut. Her heart, her very being, had told her that Tara was back. She could feel her like she was in the same room. Now she was being told that she didn't belong there, that she would be taken away again.

Giles saw the expression on Willow's face and his demeanor softened. "I think it would only make things worse for you if you saw or spoke to her. I would appreciate any input you may have, however. Perhaps researching this will help distract you."

"Maybe," Willow said dejectedly. She exhaled and then tried to put herself in research mode. "What's the spell that she cast?"

"Buffy, I think we're going to need the entire story," Giles said, finally returning to the phone where Buffy waited impatiently. "And we need to know that spell."

* * *

Xander, Buffy and Dawn had moved down to the dining room. Buffy had called Giles, but he had not been home. Anya joined them, carrying Tara's notes with her. They were all researching the issue, not sure what they were looking for. They checked on Tara periodically, but she remained unconscious.

"Anything, An?" Xander asked, shutting the book he was looking at in frustration.

"The only thing I can think of is this last line," Anya said, handing Tara's spell over so they could read it. "She wrote, 'Return me to fate's true path.' I'm surprised she was that vague. I thought she would be more careful. She didn't specify in what state she was to be returned. If she's unconscious here, it could be that her consciousness was taken to the other reality but she wasn't."

"And if she's still here, this reality still exists," Buffy said. "But how can they both exist? Is that possible?"

"Generally, no," Anya explained. "Alternate realities are not the same as alternate dimensions. Alternate dimensions exist on a separate plane. Alternate realities exist on the same plane. So if an alternate reality is created. it's supposed to replace the existing reality."

"Maybe Tara's spell created an alternate dimension instead of an alternate reality," Dawn suggested.

"It's unlikely," Anya said. "That kind of spell would take a lot of power. More than Tara has. It's not something she could do on accident."

"So what did she do?" Xander asked.

"I'm not sure," Anya said. "I only know so much. This is beyond anything I've heard of."

* * *

Once Tara had managed to remember her spell she had cast, they waited while Giles and Willow discussed it. Willow pointed out the same vague line that Anya had mentioned in the other reality. Giles explained the same things about alternate realities and alternate dimensions. But Giles knew a bit more than Anya, with the help of his books.

"I believe Tara has caused a parallel reality," Giles said. Buffy had put him on speaker phone so Dawn and Tara could join in the conversation. Willow had picked up another phone to also be a part of the discussion. "The spell split her consciousness from her physical body and brought her consciousness to our reality. Rather than replace her reality, as was supposed to happen, the two realities are residing in the same plane, slightly out of phase with each other."

"What about the stuff we're hearing and seeing?" Dawn asked.

"The realities are phasing in and out with each other because Tara is in both realities," Willow explained. "She's still connected to herself. It's like she's an anchor, holding the two realities together."

"So if you release the anchor, one of the realities drifts away until it no longer exists," Tara said.

"Precisely," Giles said. "If the two realities remain on the same plane for too long, they'll both phase completely together causing possible catastrophic consequences."

"Like the end of the world?" Buffy asked.

"Possibly," Giles said. He heard a door close and he and Willow looked toward the front door of his home. They watched as a faded image of Giles walked in and hung his coat on the coat rack. Then he disappeared. "It's phasing here as well. We just saw my alternate self. We may not have much time."

"How do we fix this and reverse what Amy did?" Tara asked. She still had her ultimate goal in mind. This was the reality that was supposed to exist. She just wasn't supposed to be in it.

"There may be no way to reverse what Amy did, Tara," Giles said. "We have to return you to the reality you belong in. However, if we do that, this reality—the one you say is the correct reality—will cease to exist. If we don't return you to your reality, both will cease to exist."

"So there's no way to bring all those Warrens back?" Tara asked, her guilt starting to bubble to the surface.

"I'm afraid not. What Amy did harnessed serious dark magicks," Giles explained. "The only way to reverse that appears to be harnessing the same dark magicks. And there's no guarantee that any of that would work. My suggestion to you is that once you get back to that reality, leave it be."

"I don't know if I can," Tara said.

"I understand you feel guilty, but what Amy did is not your fault," Giles explained.

"You tried to reverse it," Willow added. "Sometimes you can't change the past. No matter how much you want to."

Tara could hear the sorrow in Willow's voice and knew that she knew guilt better than anybody. They all remained silent for a moment and then Buffy decided to get them back on track.

"How do we get her back to her reality, Giles?" Buffy asked.

"I'm not certain," he replied. He removed his glasses and rubbed his temples, trying to ease the tension. "As far as I can tell, the Tara sitting there with you is a form of astral projection. However, it's not a voluntary one. Unlike normal astral projection she can't make a conscious effort to return to her body. She's stuck."

"We need to get her unstuck," Willow continued. She paused and swallowed hard, a lump forming when her next thought crossed her mind. "I have one idea, but I'm not sure if it would be a one hundred percent guarantee."

"What's that?" Dawn asked.

"Astral projection is all about consciously believing you're in another place," Willow explained. "Tara believes that she's in this reality and the spell she cast is mystically fueling that. But if her consciousness believes she's not here, it'll go back to where it belongs."

"I'd like to do that, but it's kind of hard to not believe I'm here," Tara said.

"I know," Willow replied. "But what's the one way humans can stop being in the world?"

Giles' eyes took on an expression of realization. Willow was right, and he knew it. "Death. If the Tara in this reality dies, her consciousness will return to her body in the other reality."

"Are you sure?" Buffy asked. "I mean, if you're wrong at all, we could lose Tara everywhere. Or it might cause other problems."

"No, Willow's right," Giles said. "Astral projection is all about belief in what's reality. Killing her in this reality would restore everything to the other reality."

"So, does it matter how she…dies?" Dawn asked, shocked at this plan. The thought of killing Tara, seeing her dead again, hurt her to think about.

"It doesn't matter," Giles replied. "As long as she dies. It should be done soon."

"Okay, I'm broken record girl," Buffy said, the tone in her voice adamant. "Are you sure, Giles?"

"Yes, I'm sure," Giles assured the slayer. He understood her apprehension.

"Buffy, you can do it," Tara said. Buffy's head spun toward Tara, her expression was almost comical, as wide as her eyes were.

"No, I…"

"It would be the fastest way, Buffy," Giles said. "None of us will exist once she's gone. There's no guilt in this. It's okay."

"God, I hate this crap," Buffy said dejectedly, a pout forming on her lips. Tara smiled slightly at her friend. "Okay, then I guess that's the plan."

"Good luck, Tara," Giles said. It was obvious he was saying his goodbyes. He didn't want Willow to even hear Tara's death. Not that it would matter, but it was an unconscious reflex.

"Thank you," Tara said.

"Be careful in the other reality," Willow said. Sadness filled her voice. "Don't let that version of me lose you."

"I won't."

They all said goodbye and hung up the phone. The three in Sunnydale stood and Buffy led them into the living room toward her weapons chest. She pulled out a sword and turned to Tara. Then she shot Dawn a worried glance.

"Dawn, are you sure you—"

"I want to be here," Dawn interrupted her. She had her resolve face on. Buffy smiled, realizing that her little sister had picked up that little personality trait from being around Willow.

"Okay," she said. She looked to Tara, who appeared extremely nervous now that she saw the sword. Buffy raised the sword, thinking beheading would be the fastest way, but she couldn't get herself to do that. She made eye contact with Tara, and Tara nodded her head.

"Do it however you can," she said. She took a deep breath and let it out, trying to prepare herself. "You can just stab me."

"This is unreal," Buffy said.

"In a few minutes, you won't even know it happened," Tara said.

Buffy nodded her head and took a deep breath. Then she lunged forward, shoving the blade hilt deep through Tara's chest and out her back. Tara cried out in pain and her knees gave way. Buffy eased her down to the floor, not removing the sword. Tara saw the terrified look on Dawn's face, but soon her vision was blurred. She could hear her own heartbeat in her ears and she could hear it slowing. Her entire body felt cold and her breathing began to soften. Finally her grip on Buffy's arms released and everything faded to black.


	6. Something Important

Willow sat against the tree in the clearing. Silent tears ran down her face, having replaced the wracking sobs that had shaken her entire body for what seemed like an eternity. She ran her thumb over the Doll's Eye crystal. Tara had given it to her two years ago. It was hard for her to imagine that they had been together for two years. And now she was going to lose her.

She had no idea how long it would be before Tara reversed the spell that Amy had cast. Willow was dying inside. She kept thinking of her time with Tara. It was like people said about dying. They said their lives passed before their eyes. That was happening to Willow. But it was just the past two years on repeat.

The night she and Tara met. The power she felt between them when they were running from the Gentlemen. The night she had chosen Tara over Oz. Glory.

Then she looked out into the clearing in front of her. There was a pond and it was beautiful. Just like the day Tara had sang to her. The day she had been under Willow's spell, literally. Tara's voice was so beautiful, so captivating. There had been times when Willow had caught Tara singing in the shower. Tara thought she had been alone in the house. Willow would sit outside the bathroom door and listen. Tara was always too embarrassed to sing in front of anybody else.

But it had all fallen apart. She had spent what had seemed far too long without Tara. Finally they found each other again. Only to be ripped apart.

Suddenly Willow cried out in pain, clutching at her chest. She had never felt anything like it. It was an intense, burning pain that ripped through her chest like a saw blade. She dropped the crystal and fell forward to her hands and knees. She knew where the pain was coming from. It was from Tara. Then the pain subsided and she collapsed, lying on her stomach in the clearing, gasping for breath.

"Willow!"

Giles called out to her as he rushed over. He had come out to find her and seen as she had fallen forward. He knelt next to her and lifted her into his arms. Her eyes were wide in shock and panic.

"Tara," Willow gasped as Giles helped her sit up.

"That's why I've come to find you," Giles said. "I think Tara may have done the spell, but I think it may have gone wrong. I was about to call Buffy, but I wanted to find you first."

Willow crawled over and grabbed the Doll's Eye crystal. Then she staggered to her feet.

"What do you mean it went wrong?"

"As I was with the coven the world flashed, only for a moment. Reality changed," Giles explained. He took Willow's hand and led her back to his home.

* * *

A scream of pain from upstairs got the attention of the four in the dining room. Buffy was the first on her feet and led several paces in front of the others as she rushed up the stairs to Willow and Tara's bedroom. She saw Tara sitting there, a look of pain etched on her face as she looked down at her own chest for blood.

"Tara!" Dawn exclaimed. Tara looked up and the pained expression started to fade away. Alternate Willow and Giles had been right. Her death in that reality was the key.

"What happened?" Xander asked.

"That's kind of a long story," Tara explained. She sat on the edge of the bed and leaned on her knees. "But the spell backfired. I can't change what Amy did."

"How do you know?" Buffy asked.

"I was in the alternate reality, the one where the Warrens did exist. That Giles explained that it's too risky to try to change it back," she replied. "As it is, I almost destroyed both our realities this time."

"So you get to stay?" Dawn asked, a smile creeping across her lips. Tara smiled and nodded her head. Dawn jumped forward suddenly and squealed as she wrapped her arms around Tara, who cringed in pain from this expression of joy.

"Ow," Tara said, suddenly realizing that she ached all over, but mostly in her back. "Why am I sore?"

"Oh, the spell threw you through a door," Anya said matter-of-factly. "You might have broken bones."

"Great," Tara said with a pained smirk as Dawn moved back. She rubbed her neck and looked down at herself. "Well, nothing feels broken."

The phone rang and Buffy moved to answer it.

"Giles, we've been trying to call you," she glanced at Tara with a smirk. "Better late than never, I guess." She paused. "Yeah, she did the spell. It didn't work. Uh, yeah. Just a second."

Buffy put the phone on speaker so everybody could hear. It was an overseas Scooby meeting. The first voice they all heard was Willow's frantic one.

"Tara, baby, I felt your pain. It was horrible. Are you okay?"

"I'm okay. It was only for a minute," she replied.

"What was it?" Willow asked.

"Buffy stabbing me."

"I'm sorry," Buffy interrupted, a confused look on her face. "Buffy whating you?"

"Stabbing," Tara said. "In the other reality."

"You were in the other reality?" Giles asked.

"But you were here, too," Dawn said. The confusion on her face echoed that of everyone else.

"I was in both," Tara replied. "The spell did that."

"See. I was right!" Anya said excitedly. "That last line of the spell was too vague."

"So both realities existed because you were in both of them. They were phasing together," Giles said. Everything fell into place in his mind. "And in order to return you to your body in this reality, Buffy had to kill you in the other one."

"That's pretty much the whole story," Tara said.

"The coven feared good magic would not be powerful enough to undo what Amy did through dark magic," Giles said. "That's why your spell backfired."

"That's what the other you said," Tara confirmed. She cleared her throat. "Can I talk to Willow?"

"Sure," Xander responded for the group. They all filed out of the bedroom. Tara picked up the receiver and she could hear as Willow did the same in England.

"So…" Willow said, trailing off.

"I'm sorry that I had to put you through all this for nothing," Tara said.

"You did what you had to do. I understand." She paused. "In the other reality, did you talk to me?"

"Yes," Tara responded. She remembered the sorrow she had heard in the other Willow's voice. "You were in England there, too. Giles and the coven were helping you recover from…what happened."

"How was I?"

"Sad and a little scared, I think," Tara said. "I don't think it had been long since—"

"Right," Willow interrupted. She didn't want to hear any variation of the word 'death' associated with Tara. She'd heard it too much already. They sat in silence for a moment before she spoke up. "Are you upset that it didn't work?"

Tara sighed. She was upset, but she knew Willow was fishing. "I'm upset that I couldn't bring the Warrens back. Nothing more than that. It's just weird to feel guilty for being alive."

"I understand. I felt that way a lot in high school. I think we all did. When some evil beastie killed someone else we knew, we all felt guilty for not being the victim," Willow said. Her mind flashed back to all her classmates who had died. Jesse was the first friend she lost to evil, at least as far as she knew. Then the bodies just kept piling up. "Giles said it was survivor guilt."

"I just can't help wondering if there's anything important the world lost because all those Warrens are gone," Tara said.

"I know something important the world would've lost if they weren't gone," Willow said.

"What?" Tara asked. She could almost hear Willow's sly smile when she spoke.

"You."

THE END


End file.
